I was just a kid when my daddy said to me
Son there's much to learn in this life.
And so there beneath a tree, he sat me on his knee
He said there's dangers in this world
So follow my advice.
Don't swat a fly that's landed on a pitbull
Don't play with your new chainsaw in the tub
Don't give a dozen roses to your girlfriend
Especially if your wife just bought a gun.
And don't ever date your father's cousin's sister
In case she is your uncle's brother's wife.
And don't leave your Grandpa all alone at Hooter's
Unless you got insurance on his life.
And don't ever give Viagara to a Rooster.
He'll cock-a-doodle-doo till he explodes.
And don't ask you in-laws over for a dinner
Unless you're sure they'll all fit in the stove..
And don't take your kids to visit dear old Grandma
Unless they don't mind digging all night long.
And don't swat a fly that's landed on a pitbull
Unless you aren't too drunk enough to run.
And don't ever put pure jet fuel in your tractor
Cause now your cousin Junior's on the moon.
They say he left a trail of anti-matter
and NASA said he won't be back real soon.
And don't take advice unless it's from your daddy
Even if your mother says you ain't my son.
And don't swat a fly that's landed on a pitbull
Unless you aren't too drunk enough to run
Unless you aren't too drunk enough to run.
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